Dear Jack
by jayni1000
Summary: Jack finds a letter from Ianto, post Cyber-woman.  Just a drabble, please let me know what you think!  Reviews are appreciated and craved.


**I don't own Torchwood or its characters.**

**TW**

_Dear Jack,_

_If today has gone as planned, I'm gone. I can't pretend to know what will happen, but if you're unaware of why I've left, get Toshiko to retrieve the CCTV files I've deleted. They should provide you with the answers to your questions. I don't want to be found, and if it's at all possible, please don't try to find me. I realize that Torchwood isn't supposed to allow their employees to leave with their memories in tact, and I'm sorry for that. If everything has gone as planned, you won't be able to find me. I've left everything at my apartment boxed up, ready to be stored in a Torchwood holding facility. Everything's labeled, there's an inventory list on the kitchen counter. I've left nothing that indicates where I've gone, so it's useless to look. I know it's against regulations, but if you or the others have any use for any of my things, please help yourselves. As far as Torchwood is concerned, I've left all of the reports that are due at the end of the month in a drawer in the Tourist Office. They're awaiting your signature. I've also left an updated inventory list of the Archives for you. It's organized now, and it should be fairly simple for everyone to find what they need. Even if you hate me right now, please don't take it out on the Archives. _

_If things have not gone as planned, I can see only two possibilities. Either Lisa and I are dead, or Lisa is dead and I am in a holding cell downstairs. If I'm dead, well, as stated previously, there shouldn't be much work for you. Everything's in order, including a letter I've written to my sister. It's addressed and stamped, but I've left it open for you to read. There's nothing about Torchwood in it, and I've created a cover story as to why I'm dead. There's a Post-It note with a phone number attached to the envelope, all you need to do is dial the number and the proper reports will be sent out. _

_If, God forbid, I'm locked up downstairs, I'm sorry. Torchwood One would put a bullet through my head, no questions asked. As you are not Torchwood One, I realize it may not be as simple for you. I'd prefer that you and the team not have to deal with whatever has happened. I'm sure I've already put you through enough, and I'm sorry. If you're having trouble trying to decide what to do with me, please just hand me over to U.N.I.T. I am fully aware of what my fate in their hands will be, and I would prefer it that way. If Lisa is dead, I'd rather not keep going without her. It may seem pathetic and weak, but I've lived for months now with nothing on my mind except saving her. If, after everything, I couldn't save her, I don't believe I could live with myself. On that note, the proper paperwork to be sent to U.N.I.T. is attached to this letter, it only needs a few details filled in and your signature. _

_If something else has happened, and the three scenarios previously stated have not come to pass, I apologize that I don't have the accompanying paperwork prepared. I'm in a bit of a rush, and those three possibilities seem to be the most likely. _

_Whatever has happened, I want to tell everyone how I feel about them. I didn't mean to betray you all, I simply saw no other way. Torchwood is designed to combat alien threats, and while I do not see Lisa in that light, I'm certain that you would. Dr. Harper, while lacking finesse, you are a brilliant doctor. I hope that one day you will see what is right in front of your eyes. Miss Cooper, Rhys is a lucky man. I haven't known you for long, but from what I can see, you wear your heart on your sleeve. Please don't change that, it'll help keep Jack grounded. Toshiko, you're amazing. You are by far the closest thing I've had to a friend, and I am truly sorry if I've hurt you in any way. I did notice that you thanked me every time I brought you another coffee, and I only wish I'd thanked you for that. You're the only one I haven't slipped a cup of decaf to. (Sorry, Jack.)_

_Jack. I am so sorry, Jack. I've used you shamelessly and I hate myself for it. I don't expect you to ever forgive me, and I am fully aware that I don't deserve your forgiveness. I love Lisa, and I had to do whatever was necessary to keep her safe. To keep you distracted. I tried to justify my actions, telling myself over and over again that you're Captain Jack Harkness, and that you wouldn't be phased by it. But the fact remains that even underneath that bravado, you are still a man. A remarkable, wonderful man, but still a man. I can't reason away my guilt, and I won't be shameless enough to try. I just need you to know that I'm sorry. I really truly am. I'd like to think that in another life, we would've been good friends. But as it stands, you've always been a good friend to me, and I'm ashamed to admit that I've been slowly plunging a knife into your back. So, one more time, I must tell you that I'm sorry. Truly and deeply sorry._

_Sincerely,_

_Ianto Jones_

_P.S. There are coffee supplies in the Tourist Office for three months along with instructions for the proper use of a coffee machine._

Jack sat at his desk, gripping the paper in his hands. He was staring at it blankly, and his eyes shifted to the Webley that sat on his desk, mere inches away. He flipped to the next page and looked at the U.N.I.T. form underneath. It was filled out properly, requesting that U.N.I.T. take over the case of one Ianto Jones. There was a blank space that required a description of events, followed by an empty space for his signature. He slowly folded the papers together and placed them in the drawer to his left. He released the breath he'd been holding and stood quickly. He grabbed his Webley and headed downstairs towards the holding cells.

Ianto was sitting on the floor, his legs pulled up to his chest. He looked up when Jack appeared on the other side of the glass, and Ianto glanced at the cocked Webley in Jack's hand. A faint smile crossed his lips and he stood, brushing himself off. Finally, his nightmare was over. The door opened and neither of them moved. Ianto's eyes were glued to the floor, and Jack's eyes were going over the man standing before him. Sometimes Jack forgot how young Ianto was. Looking at him now, he didn't see Ianto Jones, the man who had betrayed him and nearly killed his entire team. He saw someone who was barely more than a boy, welcoming an end to his suffering.

Jack had come downstairs intending to do just that. End Ianto's suffering. But now that he saw him, he couldn't do it. That ghost of a smile that had sprung to Ianto's lips when he'd seen the Webley had changed his mind.

"Go home, Ianto. I'll see you at work on Monday."

**TW**

**A/N: This just came to mind, so I decided to share it! Please review and let me know what you think, even if you think it's rubbish. Feedback is always appreciated, and constructive criticism is the best kind of feedback. I accept anonymous reviews, so feel free to berate me anonymously if that would make you feel better. :P**


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